Pray to the Moon when She is round,
Luck with you will then abound,
What you seek for shall be found
On the sea or solid ground.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Correction. Reflection. Devotion.


I came here to make a correction, but in hindsight I realize that it is not necessary. Apparently, sometimes I have foresight. Or something. On October 23, 2012, I wrote this about you: 
"I find comfort in small dependabilities & gifts-in-hand... The cat will crap on the bathroom floor every night. In the morning I will curse him & amid my irritation, remember my love for him. An old gift-in-hand."
I didn't think I had the audacity or forethought to say it, but in rereading, I guess I did:
"...For now I can find comfort in knowing that things will go on until they don't & I will remain thankful for my precious gifts-in-hand. You know who you are."

"...until they don't..."
Until you don't.
Sure wish I could unravel the Web & make a correction in your Fate.

I miss you.


In the night, the voice of the cat-you-left-behind is caterwauling.
Not even the compassion of opiates will let me sleep through this.

I am glad I danced with you that final evening. 
Rubbing heads, 
I think my bones knew things my heart & mind could not handle.

We have traveled long & far together. 
You are in my bones.

The nature of Nature: no one is special,
But for whatever it is worth, you are to me.

Some events in life will bring us to our knees.
It is during times like this that I find no comfort --
No comfort in the spirits, 
or from the gods, 
or in other beings.
I find my comfort in a humble & ambivalent return
to the dark folds of His musky Abyss,
where I can hear the silent hoof-beat heartbeat of the starry Void
& feel the equanimity of the Nothing that is Everything.


I cannot avoid vacuuming indefinitely, 
nor can I indulge in protracted, crippling heartache,
I can allow your scent to linger along the edges of the upholstery,
I can leave your blanket by the window for you,
I can carry your soft tufts close to the wreckage of my heart,
I can walk with you in my bones
& I can love you, forever.

I will brace myself to receive your ashen remains
& I will tell them,
as I told your unmoving, no longer serviceable form,
I love you. Forever.

We will travel long & far together.
You are in my bones.

I love you. Forever,
April 21, 2001 - January 30, 2013.

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