What They Said. (About Flying, Risk & Beginnings.)

Flight. It's time.

"There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." 

~ Douglas Adams

"But it is a thousand times better to make every kind of mistake than to slide into the habit of hesitation, of uncertainty, of indecision." 

~ Aleister Crowley

Stop the words now.
Open the window
in the center of your chest,
and let the spirits fly
in and out! 

~ Jalāl al-Dīn Rūmī 

The cumulative effect of 10 minutes of even mediocre effort each day is greater than all the epic imaginations of perfection & awesomeness which never leave the machinations of the creative mind. Forty five years into the deal I am seeing how that actually works. 

When I look at it from a mystical standpoint -- that is, if things are more deeply interlaced than they might superficially seem (a mindset to which I subscribe) -- I must recognize the disservice I am committing to the Muses, the Magick, the Work (let alone mySelf). Thoughtforms, beasts of creativity forever imprisoned... by me.

Art imprisoned... by me. What?!?

"Khallas!" she would say to me, or to anyone who spends their time bursting at the seams with ideas, dreams, visions & held back by an obsessive desire not to make any errors. 

Khallas!
Open the window.

On Seeing. (Microcosm/Macrocosm. Self/Universe.)

"I’ve never loved myself the way I do now." 

-- Joana Saahirah, The Alchemist's Stone: Gratitude for the Wisdom of a Changing Body.

She said to me (& I paraphrase), 'We need to be in our bodies as they are, right now. Not the way they once were, or the way we imagine them to be in some uncertain future, because that is not what we have to work with as dancers/humans. Our envisioned "ideal" does not exist. We only have our bodies as they are right now -- they will not be the same in a day, a week or even an hour. Work with what you have in this very moment, not a projection of something that does not exist. Know your creative tool as it is -- its strengths & limitations & use them.' 

There was an enormous turning point the first time I actually saw myself dancing. One might say, 'Moma, this is not rocket science...' but the truth of the matter is that it took over two years of study before I was able to see this. Prior to that, I always pictured my teachers or someone else executing my choreography assignments (even as I did them); floating the veil, traveling the steps, rotating the hips, using the propulsive power of the arms... 

Unawares, I always followed the image of another, so when I saw myself for the very first time, it was an overwhelming epiphany. 

But the trick is, we have to keep looking, because we change constantly. Every time I watch the critter that is me, I experience a strange & overwhelming sense of horror & wonder -- in part because I never see the same person. 

As I examine & reexamine myself in this manner (as I now must), I realize how vitally important it is to the entire human spiritual ecosystem. It is not just about dancing & assessing the damage or progress. It is about Everything. 

 "That which is Below corresponds to that which is Above, and that which is Above corresponds to that which is Below, to accomplish the miracle of the One Thing." 

-- Hermes Trismegistus (Dennis W. Hauck, trans.), The Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus

What He Said. (About the Value of Everything.)

-- from Alchemical Psychology: Old Recipes for Living in a New World by Thom F. Cavalli

Although I take some issue with his definition of "animism" & I have never perceived myself as a panthiest (also not quite exactly a panentheist, although much more the latter than the former), the premise that somehow from the perspective of "Nature" or the "Universe" "No one thing is any more important than another..." makes me want to say, "Yes, exactly." For us, as humans, there certainly seems to be some strong desire to adjudicate, classify & valuate by form, function, aesthetic, but isn't that what gets into so much trouble?

Wandering: Finding Love. (Again.)

Fruiting Body of a frozen world.
(I love gifts of Woo.)

Some weeks ago while pondering the victory of Winter's frozen landscape, I asked,

"What do we do with ourselves, now that our friends have frozen?"

Normally, I would say, "Just hold tight & hole up until we leave," but the answer I was told when I paused to listen was something different:

"Go out & find Love... more Love. Strange new Love. Love repackaged."

It happens that also a few weeks ago, the High Priest told me I needed to choose an elemental & go out & experience it, really think about how I feel about it, its presence, qualities, energy. To this I arrogantly snorted (to myself, of course), thinking (also to myself), "This guy doesn't understand what I do all day. He's used to working with people who never go outside..." 

Most days, I really should just turn off my arrogant voice...

Water as Ice as Planchette.

It is cold outside. Really, really cold. It is also beginning to look more & more like we might be marooned here in Alaska for the Winter season. (Gah!) This is bad news for someone who wears her Cheechako badge with pride -- better to get outta Dodge than sit around in the frozen dark for months on end. I don't care if that classifies me as a spineless snowbird -- it's just smart living. I overwintered in Northern Vermont & that was quite enough, thank you. The news is also bad because I left a fat slab of my Heart & Spirit in the care of our precious home in the desert -- the home in the bioregion I have grown to know & increasingly understand during the span between the Solstices. It is my sacred Land, the place where I have coffee with Breakfast Canyon, reflect at the Night Altar & commiserate with the Bovini. (Among many other things.)

Ice reclining on Water.

Yet here we are. Tables have been turned. For reasons other than cold, we have all been confined to the house, working like frenzied bees. Zero time out of doors since the Esbat. But at least we took some time out to be with the Moon & there, in waiting for Her, I listened to what Water had to say. It was overwhelming. I have always had great Love for Water, but I have never given Water as a creature of the Cold much airtime. It's just so cold! However, there in the frostbitten sunset I stopped on a frozen lake to listen to Water-as-Ice & I saw a winsome new face. I met more Love, strange new Love, Love repackaged.


Water is a sculptor. 
As Ice, it can hold its shape long enough for us to notice & appreciate, if we look. 
When Water-as-Ice plays with Air, together they fashion breathtaking & sometimes familiar figures.
When Water-as-Ice plays with Light -- the gleam of our Sun or Moon -- they style a lively, stationary dance. 
There is a Life to this Water, unlike that of any other creature. 
I want to know it.

A pair of Ice teeth.
Is there a giant missing them somewhere?

Even as my Spirit rails & my Heart aches & yearns & sighs, I look forward to more time with cold Water -- the artist of the frozenscapes, the subtle teacher. I look forward to the cold, in a strange new way, very much. Even if I don't.

Sciento-Paganism, Entry I: The Mystery of Relationship

I have been struggling with where to begin this discussion, so I begin here. Perhaps this is an arbitrary decision, perhaps not. I myself, cannot say.

I am reading a very peculiar book entitled The Jungian-Senoi Dreamwork Manual, a type-written & self-published text by Strephon Kaplan Williams & the Jungian-Senoi Institute. There are several reasons for my selection of this book, but an explanation would lead to tangential discussion & it is much too late in the evening to commence such an endeavour. What is important to this entry is how acutely relevant Mr. William's words are to the foundation of my beliefs. All the concepts & techniques he discusses are in relation to dreams & he constantly reminds the reader of his dream-centeredness; "The central factor is the dream itself. The dream. Always the dream." Yet, I cannot shake the feeling that he is talking about much more than just the dreamworld. 

Many passages in this book have moved me, inspired me to deeper thought, or even prompted a desire to write, but none so much as the following statement:

"The discovery of relationship is the experience of meaning."

I have a single, one-word response to this assertion: Exactly. 

Before I elaborate, I would like to add a few more points from the Dreamwork Manual which expand upon this principle. Williams places great importance on the process of "question-asking" during dreamwork & writes: 

"A question is the central response to life... A question is a great mystery... The more ways we can ask questions of ourselves, the more possibilities we will have for living life. Let my life end in a way that it ends as a question, a mystery, and not an answer. Answers end reality. Questions begin it anew." 

I would argue that this "question-asking" is essential to the pursuit of spiritual development & awareness. It is an avenue, a channel, a path to the mysteries & to the gods. It is not the only way, but it is a vital one. Of course, I speak for myself, but I could not be without it. It is my way.

Allegoria della vita umana, by Guido Cagnacci. @Wiki.

Encountering, uncovering, discovering the relationships, the connections that make up our universe is for me, a spiritual process. Every time I learn something new, two particularly significant phenomena occur: 1) I am forever changed by the new knowledge, 2) a deluge of new questions flood my mind. It is not unlike initiation: I enter the lesson a neophyte -- a small fragment, a thread, of the web that is Nature's Great Mystery is revealed to me & I emerge transformed, yet yearning for more. 

He will be surprised to learn this, but some of the most profoundly spiritual moments in my life were brought about by my father, a professor of biology who has spent the greater part of his research career working in the field of functional morphology (a branch of biology which seeks to understand, within an evolutionary context, how anatomical structures work to allow an organism to accomplish certain tasks). My childhood was filled with questions, relationships, wonder... & a deep reverence for mysteries of the Natural World. My father engendered this in me by asking me questions. He never simply explained something. He always asked me to figure it out myself, leaving me to ponder, to chew on it for awhile. When he finally gifted me with a lesson, he left me with more questions.

See photo credits below.*

If you have ever been in the presence of a researcher on the brink of a major discovery, you can attest to the alchemy that takes place as the observations, bits of data & ideas condense in the alembic of the scientist's mind. The same distillation of thought, the experience of personal epiphany, happens for me when I read a book, take a course, hear a lecture or have an encounter or insight which pieces together loose (sometimes seemingly disparate) ends in the great web of our existence. This process of stumbling upon connections, having "aha!" moments, recognizing, understanding & relishing relationships brings me closer to deity:

"The discovery of relationship is the experience of meaning."

Life, Nature -- the web of connections -- are wondrously intricate. They are the mystery of mysteries. They can be unpredictable, inspiring & sometimes unpleasant. Chasing their threads is part of my journey. Asking the next question is my way.

* The Alchymist, In Search of the Philosopher’s Stone, Discovers Phosphorus, and prays for the successful Conclusion of his operation, as was the custom of the Ancient Chymical Astrologers, by Joseph Wright of Derby, now in Derby Museum and Art Gallery, Derby, U.K. Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons.