Wandering: I Am Not Ready... But I Can Smell It Coming Anyway.

... and she cocked her head quizzically & said to me, "I didn't take you for a Sun worshipper..."

*****

Actually, I didn't have to wander far, only to the poppy patch to harvest pods & seeds for the shrine & next season. That is where I smelled it. 

I have been waiting for that scent. It has been absent in the face of all the other signs;

like the distinctive slant of the Sun's light,

and the waft of sweet decay from the Highbush Cranberries,

and oh, no, no, no, the Termination Dust that sneaked it's way onto the mountains without my notice,

and the early arrival of Nightfall,

and the Frost which blanketed the yard this morning... late into the morning.

But that smell, the smell of Autumn, I must have missed it through the congestion but yesterday it traveled into my nostrils, touched my sensory organs & made contact with my brain & it was so welcome & unwanted, so beloved & distressing. 

*****

I smiled at her & chuckled at the glaring irony. Then I said, "I'm not. Not exactly. My body... my body needs the Sun as my Spirit needs the Night."