Rising at the wee hour of dawn or so to read Chapter Two of Liber AL vel Legis in attunement with the misfits, or, as we call ourselves, the Scarlets. On this noteworthy day, at this daybreak hour, I am struck by these lines in particular:
30. If Will stops and cries Why, invoking Because, then Will stops & does nought.
-- Chapter 1, Liber AL vel Legis, sub figura CCXX
This struck me as very relevant to my recent rants about armchairs & community progress & the conflicts that arise therefrom. I held the words in my cheek pouch until evening & spat them out before the members of the O.T.O. after the reading. Ah ha! (It was one of those moments.) Bodies stir in their chairs. Heavily made up green eyes, thick with kohl light up from across the table. Garnished by her robust Serbian voice, the emphatic response sparkles (much like her eyes) in the air, "Yes! I love that too!" Being just as I am, of course, I cannot help myself & I ask "Why?" What great reception! What remarkable variability of thought! Every response unique & independent, yet entirely compatible with the others... & isn't that just as it should be? This is why, despite all the arguments I can summon to justify doing so, I simply cannot turn up my nose at Crowley.
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| "Nuit & Hadit" by unknown binaries of DeviantART. |
Day 3: Ra-Hoor-Khuit
Rising at the wee hour of dawn or so to read Chapter Three of Liber AL vel Legis in attunement with the misfits, or, as we call ourselves, the Scarlets. On this noteworthy day, at this daybreak hour, I recognize that I am still not ready to be fully receptive to this chapter. I suppose, this is the sort of thing that causes me to forever be an "in-between."
10 comments:
Some Chapter III quotes, because I have come to love Ra-Hoor-Khuit, so I must:
4. Choose ye an island!
5. Fortify it!
11. ...Let the woman be girt with a sword before me
17. Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge and Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.
24. The best blood is of the moon, monthly
37-38. (I won't take the space to quote them in their entirety here, but I love the adorations, and I use them in my personal morning shrine devotions to the Eye of Ra)
44. But let her raise herself in pride! Let her follow me in my way! Let her work be the work of wickedness! Let her kill her heart! Let her be loud and adulterous! Let her be covered with jewels, and rich garments, and let her be shameless before all men!
46. ...Success is your proof; courage is your armour; go on, go on, in my strength; & ye shall turn not back for any!
Thank you so much, my friend, for reading with me/us on these three days. And I'm glad you had a good time with O.T.O. encampment last night. :)
And a pretty picture!:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/697176feb85be703f9eb73b381c0f550/tumblr_mg2trt7tO81s27ak9o1_1280.jpg
Love is the Law, Love Under Will.
Better link:
http://nondualelf.com/artwork/1875995_All_Beneficent_Ra_Hoor_Khuit.html
Artist is Kat Lunoe.
So, I do like this one:
17. Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge and Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.
I almost used it, but it felt a bit forced, so I didn't. ;)
That *IS* lovely. I had looked at imagery for Ra-Hoor-Khuit & found that I wasn't all that comfortable with it. Most of it focused on destruction, fire or gratuitous lacivious-ness. This one you opted to share is wonderful, but I find the tranquility of it somewhat in contradiction to the voice in Chapter III.
Perhaps I should purchase one of Kat's prints for the library...
Have you ever heard of a wrathful buddha? I'm really enjoying Sam Webster's Tantric Thelema. Ra-Hoor-Khuit makes a lot more sense when remembering how heavily influenced Crowley was by Buddhism (and Tantra in particular). I mean, it all comes back to how radically syncretic Thelema is. Ra-Hoor-Khuit isn't any more or less violent and wrathful than many bodhisattvas (who have wrathful/violent sides in addition to their peaceful/contemplative ones). The idea is that the bodhisattvas have chosen to help other beings (or stars?) obtain enlightenment (their True Wills?) by kicking their asses and making them supremely uncomfortable when necessary. Another clue to the mystery of Ra-Hoor-Khuit is that Crowley equated him to our personal Holy Guardian Angels (in addition to the Aeon of Horus connection) - which is kind of scary when you think about it - the idea of truly understanding and knowing your true divine self - and the immense strength and power for destruction and creation you have as a divine being.
I am down with the process of having my ass handed to me & being "supremely uncomfortable" in order to obtain enlightenment -- a process which seems never-ending. However -- & mind you this is very personal -- the "power for destruction" part of myself I made very conscious effort to shelve when I became a mother. By that, I mean a very pro-active, deliberate effort. There was a time in my life when I was very much a child of Babalon & although I do not have regrets, I also am not comfortable with maintaining that form of conduct or philosophy in my present role or life. Doing so would create a sort of cognitive dissonance which I cannot bear. (Think: parents I know & their collective cocaine-filled frenzies with children parked in front of the tube.) Honestly, were I child-free, I suspect I would still have less interest in my unrestrained, violent & wrathful self, but I am glad I go to know her when I did. I think that is where much of my discomfort with Thelema is. It is not particularly nurturing, nor is it particularly child-friendly (neither was Crowley, as is demonstrated by his craptastic fathering). I can take the pieces of Thelema that resound so strongly in my heart, but life is bigger than Crowley's narrow experience & I am bigger than Thelema's particular vision of this world. There are important pieces, or rather, pieces that are important to me, which are absent in the Thelemic texts & philosophy. So, muddle & blend ever onward. Walk thru the fire, again & again. Listen for the voices. Love that which we love.
I agree with what you're saying about the un-child-friendliness of current Thelemic thought and culture. As someone who has wanted to become a mother for quite a few years now, and who wants to bring up children in her values and with a sense of mystery and wonderment about the world, I do need a religious practice that both includes and is rooted in family. Figuring out how to do this is definitely a work-in-progress, as I imagine it always will be.
Life is certainly bigger than Crowley's experience, of course it is. He was just one star with his own perspective, his own brightness and his own limitations. And I am another star with another experience entirely - and this experience is crucially important to the entire universe. My experience as a human woman, a public servant, a lover, a devotee of my gods, a daughter, sister, friend, dancer, priestess, and hopefully a mother. It's that idea, that my specificity matters - that every other star has as much right to exist, but that no other can truly replace me, nor I them, that I find so compelling. That Thelema intrinsically makes room for and encourages synthesis with other forms of thought, and with nearly all the world's spiritual traditions that have come before, without pretending or claiming to be the same as them or degenerating into wishy-washy-ness, these are the things that I love about Thelema. I also think that Thelema is much, much bigger than Crowley (or at least has the potential to be) and that's what I keep coming back to. Do what thou wilt. Thelema is what I make of it.
I only brought up the Tantric Buddhist connection, and the concept of a wrathful deity, because I myself found the knowledge of this helpful in my understanding of Ra-Hoor-Khuit, and I thought you might find it likewise.
As for cocaine (or any other drug) use/abuse, I pretty sure you know my opinion on that... >_>
Oh, one more thing I wanted to say about destruction. We are all doing it all the time. It is not whether or not we are destroyers (just like it is not whether or not we are stars) it is are we aware of this destruction and are we are aware of our star-selves?
I think having to acknowledge that we are killers (in addition to lovers, bodies, spirits, and stars) is the scary part, and I shelve it too in my way (see: "why Nestis is a vegetarian"). The genocide you mentioned in your last animism essay, this is to me what Ra-Hoor-Khuit is making us face in ourselves. Why, how, what, and who we destroy are the only questions not "do we?", And the final question is, or should be, to my mind - what are we creating in the process? What are we actively bringing about?
Oh, and by "any other drug", I should clarify that there are some drugs that I do use myself (alcohol, caffeine, mugwort) and I do think that these (and sometimes even some harder stuff) can be used without abuse, or abuse of one's family. Let's just say that I think it takes more discipline and reverence than most people I've met tend to exhibit - and personally I just find any activities that are harmful to a happy family life (which is something I value more than just about anything) are not something I have any time to waste on.
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