Pray to the Moon when She is round,
Luck with you will then abound,
What you seek for shall be found
On the sea or solid ground.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

For the Files: And I Remember You...

Fire Pit "Of Yore."

I've been thinking back today, probably because it is a quiet, non-Bealtaine / Beltane / May Day. Although, we have found an astounding abundance of coupling ladybugs. So, maybe it really is Bealtaine after all. 

Today I was remembering my life in Massachusetts, probably because I have always missed the community & friends there. It is an awkward idea to have a festival alone & Bealtaine is particularly awkward. Solo Maypole? I think not. 

Anyway, these thoughts reminded me of the old photos I found while sifting for images for the "Guru Board" assignment. There was a small batch of prints from a home I once knew in Massachusetts. I don't recall taking them. A few years ago, we came across the undeveloped roll of film in the basement. When the prints arrived, I joyfully became reacquainted with that unique place.

Stones of the Fire Pit.

The house was tucked away in the forest & backed up against a wooded hillside. Behind the house we had a path that led up through the trees & into a clearing where we had a really lovely fire pit, ample seating & a small shrine to Thoth. It was a special place, a sacred space. Much magick happened there. 

Last week I had another piece published over at No Unsacred Place. In the story ("If These Walls Could Speak...") I described my experiences with this house I once knew:
"Years ago, I lived in a tiny cottage in a New England forest. Once a vacation cabin, it had since been converted into a student rental. I adored the tiny hut, but it returned my adoration with a noncommittal, unsentimental attitude. My impression is that it was ungrudgingly returning to the Earth (as evidenced by much rotting, sinking and mildewing). It never had any solid investment in providing shelter for an endless stream of transient humans. Why should it when there was a beckoning forest and so little reciprocity from its ephemeral residents?"
The house & it's environs are now part of who I am. Part of my heart remains tethered there. That house; a place of growing up, a place of many gains & so many losses. My beloved cat is buried there at the base of the penta-furcate tree which served as my shrine to Thoth. I have only been able to make one visit to that house & my cat's grave since I left over a decade ago. 

Curiously, after all the time spent there, I do not have a photograph (of which I am aware) of the house from the outside. However, I do have that small set of photographs which capture, as least faintly, the space we created on the hillside above:

 There was a path up which wound up the hill & under the arching trees.
For special occasions, we strung lights along the path & over the arches.
Tiny, bright lights beckoning us to follow, piquing curious spirits.

The path led to this clearing.
A space where we celebrated with friends.

A place where I could be alone,

Kindling ever-ready...

...its fires warmed us, inspired us, mesmerized us.

Those fires... I remember them.

How I remember you.


Carol Vandelaar said...

Lovely post. I really enjoyed the No Unsacred post as well.....buildings, homes, spaces have their own distinct personalities, emotions and energies (and attitudes!). You described this so well with such beautiful words. Thank you for that -I truly enjoyed it.

Moma Fauna said...

Thank you, although I don't think I had a choice in writing it. ;)

I miss you guys. I realize it might have sounded like I'd forsaken you for my memories. That's not it at all. Since we have never been with you for Bealtaine, I just don't have that feeling of missing-ness. I hope this weekend's festivities go beautifully. I'll be there in spirit.

Carol Vandelaar said...

No worries - I didn't take it that way :) Our memories are precious and all should be honored. I've always found it hard to connect to Bealtaine, so it was nice to read your words. We all miss you here as well.

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